Yet, another break-up and you are doing the post-mortem with your girlfriends over wine, cheese cake and cocktails. You ensured that the ‘mixologist’ is someone heavy on the vodka and light on the conscience. And every time you swear this is the last time… but deep down you know that it won’t be. We all do!! Then, tomorrow comes and you are still feeling like a plastic bag just drifting through the wind and you are screaming for a fresh start. And it’s like Cher heard your prayers and out of nowhere your door bell rings, your phone rings, you get an email or text message, you looked over your shoulder while shopping, you get a complementary glass of wine, the elevator door opens and wha-laa in walks ‘HIS-tory’ again to ‘be there for you’.

During high school, I wasn’t too fond of History, but the older I got I find myself approaching ‘HIS-tory’ with a new perspective. ‘HIS-tory’ is that guy who is ‘right for now’, but you just can’t get a relationship working with him – strangely. He comes in ever-so often when you are at your lowest point, helps you ‘get over an ex’, wines and dines you and put another notch in your self-esteem. Rest assured, ‘HIS-tory’ knows exactly what he is doing!

So, here am I coming from work on a dead beat Friday and  heading to the supermarket, and my phone rang. Looked at the number and thought ‘’Damn!’’. So, having drunk all the cocktails possible, ate all the cheese cake and being through post-mortem upon mortem, I think my Doctor would prescribe a little ‘’HIS-tory’’. So, I answered the call and in walked HIS-tory came in my life as fast as a Japanese orgasm (1 minute tops); and I thought to myself, ‘’things are gonna heat up pretty soon’’. Needless to say, within the hour I was sipping on some wine and before mid-night….well, just say I FELT BETTER…..

So, what’s the deal with ‘HIS-tory’? Does he have a radar to know when you are lonely and vulnerable? Is he like a predator that just lies in the dark and wait for us to be ‘available’ and easily devour-able? Or he is just an angle who is sent to help us through a rough patch in our lives and leaves when we are ‘ready’ to move on and re-integrate within society. Or is he a combination of all of the above (if that’s all possible)? Break-ups are awful experiences in our lives and it messes with our self esteem, our self perception, and faith in people. On some level, I am glad ‘HIS-tory’ has that ‘6 sense’ and visits us from time to time, like the tooth fairy; and like the tooth fairy, leaves something under our pillow to help us sleep through out the night while we recoup. There is so much your friends can do; there is so much retail-therapy can do; there is so much a cocktail and clubbing can do to heal the pain of a nasty break-up. Helllllll………who doesn’t like to feel needed? Who doesn’t like the attention? – I do, so I know you do, too.

So, hurry up with that post-mortem of your ex, drink that cocktail, eat an entire cheese cake, go shopping, go clubbing; and wait patiently for ‘HIS-tory’ to ride in on his big white horse to save you once again because you know you like it. But remember, ‘HIS-tory’ has to go back to his wife in the suburbs so never fall for him. LOLOLOLOL…


6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Alecia Whylie
    May 27, 2011 @ 17:13:40

    Pretty good article, I like the reality factor of it.


  2. Kelly
    Jun 03, 2011 @ 13:43:56

    “wife in the suburbs” LOL LOL Not that you would know, right?? :p


  3. Angelique
    Jul 05, 2011 @ 15:46:10

    Man now I know why I still can’t History. After six years of it up to Alevel, I never got around to liking the subject, just could never understand how relevant history from medeival time had to do with me getting a job as a paralegal or an administrative assistant but after a degree in politics and all that reading I figured it had to do something with me developing the skills for analysing stuff. So now that I have had so many HERstory in ma life, I can’t seem to fathom either why they always jus miraculous appear out of nowhere when u feel yourself drowning in a swamp of emotions and your rejections like leeches start to suck unto the little self-esteem u have been trying to build or why they always had to leave. If they so good at doing you, I mean lifting up your spirits, making u believe in yourself, feel like you could love again, make you laugh; why do they have to leave? Come on, bwoi I know they say history are events recorded in time and remembered through memories and experiences and even beliefs, but why is it my history can’t be the present, having you here with me all the time…sigh! Oh I forgot, its history, its of the past not the present. Oh what torture to sit and look back at HIS/HERstory. ‘Slavery(SMH), invasions(Pride Parades), economic depressions(economic cost), and a whole lot more events..hmmm! Ah bwoi, I think ma history teacher would be proud, don’t u think dwayne? We deserve an A+


  4. fromtops2bottoms
    Jul 05, 2011 @ 15:59:57

    Indeed! We deserve an A+!

    But you made a good point:- WHY CAN’T HISTORY be PRESENT! Somethings I wish for that too….
    I guess that’s why it’s HIS/HES~tory! Damn!


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